Distance hurts. Obviously, the subject of distance has been something that I have been all too acquainted with over the years of being a missionary and third culture kid. When I entered the 7th grade, 12 years old at International Community School, I also entered a country and new world in which I knew absolutely no one other than my family, and was over 9,000 miles away from my nearest notion of home.
But distance becomes more and more painful of a reality as I grow older. Yesterday, I said goodbye to my amazing girlfriend again and watched her drive off to put 300 miles of separation between my hand and hers. It is certainly my belief that God puts trials and situations in our lives to make us stronger people, so I do not resent Him for bringing me together with a girl with whom I can't be "together" with as much as I would desire, but that won't ever cause the pain of her being gone to subside.
I believe that the idea of unwilling separation is simply a result of the fallen state of humanity. Adam and Eve walked together with God, and communed with him. The nature of their own pre-fall relationship was laid out clearly in Genesis 2 when God said "Therefore, a man will... hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." When they sinned, they not only separated themselves from God through hiding, but also opened themselves to the eventual reality of imperfect human relationships, including but not limited to the problem of distance between partners. Likewise, the need for a savior of all mankind is summed up in the fact that there is now a distance between man and God, an enmity that affects the relationship we need to have true freedom to be who He intended us to be.
In the same way, the pain that is brought about by lacking a physical unity with those that we love is a result of the fallen world that we live in. Though I am grateful for the technological ways I have access to in order to communicate with and feel closer to Kathryn, there is nothing that can substitute having her beside me and physically having my arm around her.
I pray daily that Christ, the author and perfecter of our faith would sustain both Kat and I as we seek to honor him through our relationship and selflessly care for each other. And I also pray that because he is the perfect reconciler of all things great and small, that he would provide for us to see each other and eventually live in the same place.
Some application for all couples: If your significant other lives on the same campus as you, or if you have the ability to see your loved one on a daily basis, praise God that he has given you that gift. And if God has blessed you with the difficult blessing of a long distance relationship, praise God that he has given you that gift. Because I do consider it a daily blessing and the most precious privilege to date a girl who is worth EVERY second that I spend missing her and a million more. It has been difficult at times, like when I wonder if she is safe and desire to serve her in many ways that distance makes impossible.
But you know what? I HOPE that the evil one has seen my relationship with Kat as a threat to his dominion. I HOPE that we are worthy of his nervous attention and attacks! I HOPE that he has quivered in fear that we will do ministry together (as we plan on doing this summer, Lord willing), and I hope that God humiliates him by continuing to keep Kat and I humble and joyful in the face of the reality of the broken world that we are living in.
I have become more of a prayer warrior through feeling completely inadequate and powerless to take care of any of Kathryn's daily needs. I have learned new ways to express my feelings and make her feel loved, such as sending small gifts and packages, and lots of letters! And the most important thing is that with the hope of someday doing ministry in difficult places, God has taught both of us to press on for something that we value and deeply desire, even in the face of less than ideal and difficult situations.
And there is no person alive that I would rather have accompany me on this journey than her. And there is no one that could sustain it besides the awesome God we love and serve... together.
